A poem without a name.

In sin I lay without a doubt,
Awaiting Your soothing touch of redemption,
Like a journeyman who has lost his route,
Awaiting Your hand to guide his every action.

Oh wretched being that I am,
Why does a God so noble care?
Have I truly the worth of the world that You say I am?
That a world so large cannot compare with a soul so rare.

Could I accept Thy love?
Or perhaps the human mind cannot comprehend,
Why You descended from heaven like a dove,
To bear upon Yourself the fate of humanity which had ended.

Has my fate being sealed?
For in sin I lay barren and torn,
Yet You sought me for the fate I have sealed,
And promised me a hope reborn.

Woe to me that I see not Your grace,
That upon this I hang my head in shame,
For I comprehend not this love,
And for all its simplicity I failed to see.

Women feel they are sexiest at 34

Haha, this is a riot. It takes 34 years of life for a woman to find out their sexy. Sometimes surveys like this bother me alot. I truly wonder what's going on? Why is it that women can feel sexy at the age of 21 or 24 or for that matter 65? Does there have to be a limit? Or is it just strange that there's a pinnacle where sexiness is concerned and it sloops off after then?

In my personal opinion, surveys like this generalize on how women feel and set the standard for some that by 34 years old, you have better had experience in the bedroom for you to be sexy. Such connotations are degrading and set stupid standards for people. (FYI, this survey was done by Astral [some moisturiser brand]). This is something women have to learn. You can feel sexy at age 34, you can also feel so at 65!!! Don't let some survey dictate your life. If your beau can't make you feel appreciated and beautiful, you might need to find someone else.

Taken from : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/HealthSci/Women_feel_they_are_sexiest_at_34/rssarticleshow/3810703.cms

Mahathir on AlJazeera.

Mahathir is such a joker. Haha

Machiavellian

What does it mean to be Machiavellian?

Some synonyms with this word are two faced, cunning, or placing pragmatism over morality. A facade that shades over our eyes; that you're not the person that you were just 5 minutes ago. How does one switch between such extremes? Is it possible that one moment you're deceitful and cunning and next you're the person who dwells in the midst of righteousness?

Are we trading ourselves for masks? Masks of deception and masks of perfection? Is the righteousness that you now bear still righteousness if its hidden under a mask of pain and insecurity? What are the foundations that are formed upon if they are not real? Written in Isaiah 64:6 is this:

But we are all like an unclean [thing], And all our righteousnesses [are] like
filthy rags; We all fade as a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, Have
taken us away.

Are you then a great person + God = Perfect person?

OR

Are you then a nobody + God = Perfect person?

When the pie gets small, people get desperate

Well, obviously I don't need to tell you that the economy is terrible but this is just horrific. The figures double every year guys.

Love gets the attention of people

A recent intervention done by Ong (2008) which was replicated by Gan (2008) showed that facebook status changes of "single" to "in a relationship" invoked the most responses from individuals.

This is a startling find. According to Ong (2008) within a day, 16 responses were collected. Gan (2008) replication was similar and showed matching results within half a day. Due to personal traumas from the smses and ethical considerations (the participant did not want to lie), the participant decided to withdraw from the experiment.

Preliminary observations show that majority of the responses came from females with the leading question being "who is the girl?". With such startling statistics we estimate a correlation of 0.8 could be possible if one switches the status of one's relationship.

Hopefully researchers would remain vigilant in this field to establish more concrete statistics.

A question of submission

I am often baffled by this question. How is it possible for some to lay down their lives in utter submission towards the will of God?

I know that many a time my heart is just taken by things that don't matter. 2 things really bother me. How did I get to this state and why am I just plain apathetic about it? I am supposed to care about my well being and the person that I am.

As a christian, your ultimate goal is to consciously lay down your own will and set your needs aside in pursuit of God's will. I've been listening a lot to Ravi Zacharias lately and here was one very interesting question he posed:

"How is it that the christians claim of such an infinite God that is powerful and yet there is so little change in His people?"

Have we done justice to the name of God? In Leviticus 20:22-26, God states that we are His people which have been separated from the unclean and that we should be Holy for He is holy. Does the servant emulate after his master? Sometimes I myself feel condemned that I am writing things like these because I have not practiced them.

I am surprised how God spends time to actually capture my attention. I don't know if you guys get this but there are times at the back of my head that I just heard the whispers going:"Hey, I've missed you today." or "Hey, where's that promise that you were gonna start your day with Me?" Its statements like these that sometimes prompt me to just wanna break down and cry. That God would actually take time to tell you all these things!!! I guess that's how David felt when he knew God thought of him that much (Psalms 139:17-18).

What I find even more amusing is that God keeps coming back! Regardless of how many times you've not answered. What kind of a God does that? Indeed God wants to know you. Put yourself in His shoes and face (literally) a world of denials from people. Those beings that You conceived and crafted with your hands have now turned against You. Calling You a fraud, a fake. Those that claim they believe in You have nothing but an idea of You and not knowing You for who You really are.

These certainly are tough issues to answer. And the journey of submission towards God is of even greater multitude. Though tired I must continue to believe because as Philippians 1:6 says "He who began a good work will finish it."

Candid moments while playing Max Payne 2

Haha. This is what happens when u mess with Max Payne. You get put in a wheel chair. Literally.

Fatigue

Oh so fast night reaches,
That the morning passes like the fleeting wind,
A fore a dusty bed one reaches,
Falling upon it like life itself has ended.

Where art the rest of heaven promised to weary souls,
Where art the spirit of soaring eagles promised?
Crawling upon the ground of an unknown destiny,
Wondering if it is all a vanity.

Weary from battle the lone warrior says,
Is this all worth the honor I stood for?
Allowing his sword to slip from his very hands,
Falling back and into the arms of fate his body pour.

To be broken.

Its written in the book of Psalms, that the sacrifices of God are a "broken spirit and a contrite heart". The two hebrew words mentioned in context of a broken spirit and contrite heart are the words :Shabar and Dakah which bears rather almost the same meaning which is to be crushed or broken before the Lord.

According to those definitions, I find my spiritual life wanting. I am not broken in my sins and sometimes I relish in them. I find it odd that sometimes christians are called to be "salt and light of the world" We're supposed to be the ones changing things around, bringing light into darkness, yet sometimes I find that the darkest of hearts is in one's self.

You then question God. That there is this emotional depravity that God has created within you and made you prone to. Why is that? Why does He do this? I don't hope to offer an answer because I seek to find one myself. This is a massive search in one's spiritual life. Maybe I am just too thickheaded to seek Him myself. Relishing in my ability to solve things or to ignore them entirely

Sighs.......When did I become so arrogant or apathetic? Is this the spiritual death that is explained in James 2? That faith without works is dead and because my faith is not acted out through a life of righteousness and love?

Greater love hath no man?

I can't believe I am actually seeing the word of God in action. I am utterly surprised at this. Some birthday gift today was.

You really have to wonder sometimes what causes a man to go so far beyond the call of duty and reach out to people out of sheer reverence and knowledge of the presence of God. To quote what he said:" Jesus didn't die on the cross only for people He would want to hang out with". How true is that.

So often we forget that Jesus died for everyone. Those who are mentally unsound, those who can't differentiate truth from fiction, and those who need a world of their own to escape the harsh and terrifying realities of life.

Our generation has 2 great pitfalls:
1. We keep Jesus to ourselves because it is only our salvation that matters the most
2. Our actions only have verbal value (like the evangelist who preaches but never does!)

Sure......... we know the words "Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friends" . We preach it every single day but when we see beggars, eccentric people, that geek which no one wants to hang out with, that boy who has an imaginary friend, we immediately withdraw our love. I don't deny that I am one of those people myself and I can only hope that one day God would pull His transformational power in my life

Seeds of Wrath

Ever wonder if your little quirks and stupid comments give way to seeds of wrath? Here the old adage goes that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Never saw the reality of the situation before but I currently have.

Lesson learned.....Don't piss a feminista off.

Feminista (Fem-e-nis-ta) defined:
A person who exalts the will of women over men.

Traits of a feminista:
Not allowing gentlemanliness
Exalts the trampling of good men

It's so dry

Pastures of green have faded,
Where's the waters of life promised?
Barren lands on which life once stood ever stronger,
Now nothing remains but a dry tree clinging on to life.

Oh this drought of silliness,
How one toils and nothing grows,
Is this land to grow nothing but cactus and barren fruit,
That you wish to curse the sky that never falls rain.

When will rain come to rekindle life?
When will rain come to restore life?
How I missed the days where sweet and juicy fruits grew,
How I missed the days where purpose roamed within these orchards.

All is gone
All is gone
No purpose whatsoever,
Dry and barren this land stands.

Where is the promised rain from heaven,
To lift this accursed land from its God forsaken nature,
Restoring the life of heaven that's due it,
So that it serves the purpose meant under heaven.

E Pluribus Unum

The above phrase means "out of the many, one". Many don't know the meaning of that phrase even when its on the most common thing in the world. A simple American Coin. Many things in life surface from this motto or phrase. For example, out of the many problems, one solution;Out of the many states, one nation.

At this current phase of life, I find myself basking in important questions like what am I going to do with my life? How can I be a better person? Why is it I am not who I want to be? Why is my life bordering insanity because of boredom? We search and we search and never seem to find the answer. Somehow doing similar things everyday does seem to have its negative effects on a person. Its in the insanity in the cycle of life that we sometimes long for something more. Some turn to love (or in this age lust), addictions, people, religion to break this insane cycle to get a different gist out of life.

But is there more to this search? Does it truly lie in people, religion, addictions, or lust? Or is there something more. What is the quintessence of this life? What is it that would truly make you whole? Occasionally I feel that it's pointless to ask such questions because no one will answer and even if someone cared to answer there was too much to do to achieve that of which is spoken of. Yet true to its word, out of the many questions, one solution.

GOD is that solution.

Some would probably moan and groan at the option because many are either dead to that notion that God exists and posit that it is a means of constriction over the many countless options that life has provided before us. Yet this begs the question, how many of your options are actually your options? Remember that time which you were dared or challenged to break a rule that your parents told you not to break but you did it anyways because your friends dared you to? Or how many times have you gone clubbing (not because you liked it) but because your friends asked you to. Whereas putting yourself willfully under the watchful and secure hands of God, that is truly a choice. The first choice in life that you probably had to make on your own. Not because others asked you to but because you seek a life of wholesomeness and clarity.

There's a hard journey up ahead but when you have such a powerful being backing you, I don't think there'll ever be a problem. As it's written in the bible, If God is for us, who can be against us? {Rom 8:31 NIV}

Jesus's diary

"Carry My Cross"

As long as I remember I've been walking through the wilderness
Praying to the Father
And waiting for my time I've come here with a mission
And soon I'll give my life for this world I'm praying in the garden
And I'm looking for a miracle I find the journey hard but
It's the reason I was born
Can this cup be passed on Lord,
I pray your will be done In this world

Chorus
So I'll carry my cross
And I'll carry the shame
To the end of the road
Through the struggle and pain
And I'll do it for love
No, it won't be in vain Yes,
I'll carry my cross And I'll carry the shame
I feel like I'm alone here
And I'm treated like a criminal
The time has come for me now
Even though I've done no wrong Father, please forgive them
They know not what they've done In this world
Three more days and I'll be coming back again
Three more days and I'll be coming back again

Look at the lyrics of this song. I bet Jesus thought these thoughts when He came. Here's the song hope you guys enjoy it.

The internship experience

Well well, the day of me finally looking at books is over; now replaced by a daunting sight of the "internship experience".

So far things have been rather interesting under Doc Goh. Me and the team working together have really had our hands full. Here are the list of projects we as a team are working on.

• Corporate training material
• Materials for website development
• Goal setting

On top of that, we have to help out with 2 upcoming events: The HELP Psychology Challenge and the 30 Hour Famine. Yeah... fatigue and lack of sleep is on the rise. Don't even have time for a life anymore. Haha. Well....its the ponderer sighing off... :P

Change is the essense of improvement in an individual

I've been meaning to write this for a long time because it's one of the quotes I came up with. If ever I become famous for anything, I want this quote posted up somewhere muahahaha.

Change like many of us know is not easy and it is a tedious and difficult path. To change implies restructuring, reconstituting, and reestablishing one's identity, character and values. A simple example to put this is that of a criminal. Criminals are the ones who usually need this form of reconstruction of their entire being.

Change if defined by what I mentioned above (change of identity, character and values) is fairly difficult. Just imagine the social stigma and condemnation a criminal faces when he exits jail and tries to live a normal life again. It isn't easy and the journey is so tough that many just rather surrender to that schema of being a criminal (since no one thinks I am capable of change, I might as well abide by their wishes.)

That's a fairly extreme example. Most of us don't have to go through that. Our struggles might be more trivial but nonetheless equally important. It's always said that human beings can never attain perfection in life. That doesn't mean however that we should never strive towards it. Many say perfection is overrated but if you never try how far up the scale would you go?

Think of your journey of change as an adventure and further on years into the future, you would look back and say I am now a better person as a result of this change and look how much closer you are to perfection now. As is written in in Romans 12:2, we should "be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

A dawn of something

Life as it is has been rather hectic these days. Been asking God what is it he wants me to do with my life of late. I was a little afraid of the answers I might be getting. I remembered once hearing in Psalms 34:7 that if you "Delight your self in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Well I am gonna rationalize this sentence for you best I can. To break it down

• Delight yourself in the Lord.

This means to make God's desires your desires. Delight yourself in the things that God sees to be worthy of delight in. As it is also written in John 14:15, "If you love me, obey my commandments".

• And He will grant you the desires of your heart.

Interestingly, we pay more attention to this part of the verse than that of the beginning. It says DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD!!!. That means to make your desires HIS desires. I used to think this is God's way of screwing around with verses but it's clear that I didn't read the contract properly.

I thought that this is God's way of screwing me out of a good deal but it's not. We can't even begin to comprehend the love, the sacrifice, and the pain He went through to redeem us. It's like Paul Washer said :" God is going. HEY!!! I AM YOUR GOD AFTER ALL THIS!!! AND YOU ARE MY PEOPLE WHOM I AM SO GLAD WITH!!! and we reply: "Ok.....so what else is there?" For God to have went from immortal status to come down to mortal and die for us, can you imagine how much of power you would be giving up? It's like the Sultan of Malaysia suddenly decides to become a normal citizen and help society instead of sitting on his throne. Imagine the magnitude of power you would be forgoing and to humble yourself to a level to which you as a God would be willing to die for your people. Jesus came the first step, who are we to say "what else is there?"

There's a reason things happen in life?

Is there? I don't really know. It is once written in Ecclesiates that sorrow shapes the countenance of the heart. (Ecclesiates 7:3)


I am sick of being sorrowful. It's a dreadful and endless circle in which I seem to swing about in. Twists and turns and tossed about by the visisstitudes of fate to an endless avail to life. Where's the life of meaning I am supporsed to lead?


Why? WHY?! WHY!? Doesn't God know that I am suffering, that I've had enough? I am tired and still I have to be stretched further by circumstanes. My heart is rent and at times I no longer see hope for myself and yet I seem to be able to offer hope to others. A false hope perhaps. A silly naive perception that only fools believe in.


Why is it that God constantly asks me to draw from a well that is empty? I myself am not filled and I have to continue drawing. And yet of all days, today I see one who's heart is itself rent and torn and yet able to transcend that pain and burden and still find a moment to offer hope, sacrifice and encouragement onto others.

Guess God's saying......Get off your arse and learn something.

Despair

Despair = Suffering - Meaning.

Think about that. It was Viktor Frankl's equation behind the element of despair. He provided a brilliant example of a student of his who had a suffered full body paralysis. She later found her meaning in life giving comfort to those who have been paralysed or lost someone special during their lifetime. You might be thinking how a fully paralysed body can write? She doesn't. She types using a stick with her mouth on a typewriter.



It's interesting to know that when you've been through suffering and managed to achieve a sense of meaning, you can start to see hope in that darkened picture. Failing to see meaning in it however results in despair. Frankl also reasoned that meaning can be discovered from every facet of life. If meaning can really be found that way, we had better start making the correct choices of what we do everyday. Imagine ascribing your entire life's meaning to sex, to crime, or some element of addiction, what would your meaning of a glorious life then be reduced to? A hedonic paradigm that one ignores others and is merely self seeking. Is this truly what it means to be human?

What happens in Malacca stays in Malacca.

It's an absolute wonder just to revel at the beauty of nature in the A Famosa resort. That's the view from my apartment just a day ago before I had to return to the hustle and bustle of modern society. Well...unfortunately I can't tell the tale of what exactly went on down there. Hence the title. (but as a christian, we didn't breach any unbreachable boundaries)

Glad that this experience has helped me learn a lil about both the psyche of human beings and also the motivations in which help us define who we are.

Cited in Erikson's psychosocial theory is the conflict of one's search for intimacy vs isolation. Many of my cell members fall within this category. The fact of the matter is they have defined their identity as a person and are right now seeking for people to support and secure that identity in which they have built up. Hence the incredible search for one's life partner or perhaps even a community to solidify that sense of identity. Some might even use Maslow's hierarchy to parallel the needs of love and belonging in this category.

This shows the importance of community in one's life. The individual as itself is an important aspect but no one lives in isolation of one another. Imagine you citing yourself as the richest or smartest person alive and having no one to back that identity or position to compare yourself with. What use is that? Rene Descartes may have coined the phrase "Cogito ergo sum" which means "I think therefore I am" but are we really that individualistic? That we live in isolation without comparing ourselves and having others approve of who we are?

Balance is once again key... Our identity is both a mixture of who we are and who people define us to be. This again differentiates between the "I" self and the "Me" self. "I" self are the I know who I am based on my own definitions. "Me" self is the me who is defined by others. If your identity is entirely "Me" self, we have an individual that would change like the wind, completely malleable to the pressures of conformity and evaluations by others. On the other hand, you don't want to be a thick headed person who can't take a single advice from anyone would u?

Just some thoughts. Au Revoir

Buying IKEA beds? Think Again

Hi everyone this is a news flash for IKEA wooden beds.... If you happened to enjoy stuff from IKEA, this is one item you should never ever consider to buy. To illustrate my point, this is what you will be sleeping on. Of course it didn't come that way... but less than 1 year it broke off one by one. Hopefully you guys are wise enough not to buy this. Please...for your own safety. DON'T BUY IKEA BEDS!

Blade and blaze

The clash of steel admist a wild battle,

Deep and loud the song resounds,

Many fall prey and let suffer the little,

And cries follow the sound of bombs that fall by the thousands.



To whom shall we owe this blade and blaze,

Why should heaven should let continue this carnage of craze,

Are the powers of good a fleeting vapor?

That the hellish nightmares of war they do not succor.


Lost in a blade and blaze of eternal torment,

Shall we see no more of good's amend?

Where shall the hope shine from?

If not from the cross where Jesus died on

Thought of the day.

Buried in these hands a face of pain,

To whom is the prayer of solace made?

Are they not to you, Oh God of heaven

With a heart so burdened.



Sweet are the waters which You lead me by,

Gentle are the streams which You brought me to,

Green are the pastures which I lie upon,

As I seek Your face to revive my strength.



Let Your joy be my strength,

Oh Lord of heaven.

God's grace

End of the semester.

Man.....Time is flying so fast! It's already the end of the 5th semester at HELP. It's worrisome that time is just zipping past. Sometimes I really feel that I am not Carpe Dieming (seize the day) as much as I want to.

In another week it will be finals once again. I am really worried about how I would do. Dr. Ng discussed anchors in life with us today under the spirituality dimension of the multi-dimensional perspective. Anchors are actually items in life that are important to an individual. Something that you've bound yourself to e.g God, Friends, Yourself, Your parents.

I was dwelling on this thought for a little bit too much and I thought to myself. Is the reason why I am performing with mediocre results in my exams are due to the fact that there is so much pressure on me that I suddenly black out? I really wonder....A recent chat with Su Vian Helped me identiy that I need to address the issue of me panicking and acting out in exams. I noticed on several occassions that when I lose focus because of time constraints or excitement. I generally perform very very badly.

I guess it speaks also of my life in general. Do I really anchor myself to things that matter for life? Is life worth the things that I am investing it in? Truthfully, on a whole I would say that I've not anchored myself to things that matter. It's one thing to write here on a blog where you have no judgments, it's another to take action and force yourself to break of it. I do hope that God has heard this prayer of mine.

Flavor of the week

How dreadful is this fatigue?
That man tire and not reap,
Why should life be this opaque,
That one should tarry but not reap.

The spirit to strive fades to nothing slowly,
As one continues to ponder the weight of life,
So heavy this burden to bear completely,
Upon the small shoulders of a servant of life.

Oh the eye of heaven shines not over this day,
For it's rays are blocked by clouds of hopelessness,
In the den I rest my heart without ray,
Asking when will the ray of hope reshine my bleakness

Bad omens?

Lately I've been having some weird a** dreams. I saw myself beat up pretty badly by someone whom I was particularly close to.

It's not your average battle. Imagine bruises on the eye and blood flowing from my mouth. The strange thing was I didn't fight back as if to take a sort of punishment. Though I sometimes doubt that something to this magnitude is impossible of happening, I've seen somethings that make me think otherwise. Makes me think whether I should continue in certain pursuits in life. Sometimes the price of screwing up is way too high and it's a price I am not really willing to pay. Uh.... Heck.....

To speak of the dread that I had to go through today is another bloody hell. Geez.....two things and I am already running on dry..... Wonder where's the resiliance I talk so much about sometimes.

Long day and one longer yet to come week.

Broken

A broken and a contrite spirit, thou will not despise (Psalm 51:17).

What does it mean to be broken and contrite? To me coming to a place of brokenness is coming to a place of submission. It's a form of admittance that one is powerless. I think to be broken is a very humbling experience. Human beings pride themselves with the ability to be able to tackle problems and indeed we have come far. It is also sometimes in that ability that we lose ourselves and think that we are able to conquer all. Humility is important in a person's life but we rarely ever see it in this generation. A sense of security in ourselves seems to overpower God's ability in certain things sometimes.

To be contrite in spirit, as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary is to come to a place of regret and sorrow for one's sins. In Hebrew, contrite is the word Dakah which means to be crushed. Ever felt that way before? That you're crushed by the weight of your own infirmity. I haven't experienced myself this before. (Which probably signals that I still have alot of pride within me)

I am reminded of the quote that lays infront of Adventist Hospital in Penang. "God heals, we only help" I guess the owner really had that humility in mind.

Laying down things.

Something precious to me broke this morning. I sort of see it as a symbol to lay down something important to me.

First things first, about the item that broke, well....not really a fan of symbology but when things like that happen you can't help but think. So a cup given by this girl I really liked once broke today morning when I was brushing my laptop. Accidentally knocked it over.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I guess I never really addressed the emotions of grief I felt when she started dating another guy. The detachment of emotions from scenes of life can sometimes be quite devastating. Emotions that are not addressed seem to find their way out through the crevices of one's heart and you start seeing it affect your daily life. (That doesn't give you the license to start a drama queen club.)

I think I've spent a big deal of my life hiding true emotions. This is at most times a good thing because emotions are impulsive and they often jump to conclusions. Now for the bad part, things left unsaid very often leave a scar. Ever shake a bottle of coke very rigourously and let it fly? That's the sort of feeling you get after awhile. Only in my case, the pressure mounts and is not released.

Sometimes how I deal with these emotions surprises me because I don't think I really ever address them. After awhile the pain just seems to fade. You don't really know whether it's gone or is it just being normalized in one's life. I think with every layer of pain and grief put on me I feel less and less human everytime. It's like a wall being build layer and layer. It's strange that you don't only block others out, you block yourself out too sometimes.

So I guess some food for thought for you guys. Maybe for some of you it's time to express some emotion in life and for some maybe a little less.

Life messages

It's really interesting how sometimes we don't realize that our life is able to speak. I once remember this quote from someone who mentioned "what you're doing speaks so loud, I can't hear what you're saying." Like it or not, to some degree in life, our actions dictate our life messages to the people around us.



So what is it that's in a life? Many have different interpretations of what life holds and what life can be. For me however, living a life of meaning is important. Many would then ask what is it to live a life of meaning? I don't think there is an answer there because I am still in the process of discovering that meaning. Life's journey has no doubt left me with many thoughts and I sometimes wonder what does it mean to be alive?



I realize how paradoxical I am in this entry. I guess it just speaks even more of my confusion upon this matter.



The main point to illustrate however is the fact that a person's life is a message. Like a novelist who's writing a novel, everything you do would dictate how interesting and how vibrant the novel turns out to be. Not to disregard anyone's experience but what we do in life sometimes determines how interesting it is. (which speaks for myself as well.) I think for every novel however there is a core theme or value that we sometimes exuberate. For me personally, it is important to exuberate a helping heart.

Giving more of oneself

I find it sometimes very hard to accept compliments but I really do enjoy them. I am really glad that I managed to say something that really encourage people sometimes and to know that God actually used you as an encouragement to someone. The feeling is just........euphoric.

My faith that words do sometimes encourage have waned throughout times because I sometimes think that I can't do much through words but God has showned me otherwise. I've always visualized a cellgroup in which everyone is filled with encouragements, support and sound advice. Our cell is far than ideal from that. I believe that to give more of themselves to the cell, the cell needs to be encouraged in doing so.

I see endless possibilities in all of them. I just wish that they'ld start believing in what God can do in them and with them. I hope that they see that.

Bleak view of love?

I realized today how much of a cynic I have become. Some would say that approach of telling someone emotions won’t last is uncalled for. Sometimes showing too much of reality is something I think I am too good at. That’s me…..full of negativity. I guess sometimes it’s why people get blown off by conversations with me. Annoying but none the less true.

The question to pose now is why do people break up? For centuries men have sang of the greatness, divinity, strength, courage and so many other values associated with love and yet it is that same love that everyone grieves over and later explains it to be cold. “A love gone cold” they call it. What absurdity is that? That such power and such beauty could come to an end. Like a minor period of orgasm it was but now everything’s gone.

I don’t want to be a cynic but love just doesn’t seem to last. Maybe that’s why people nowadays are considering single parenthood. It’s easier to raise a child alone than to do it with someone else. It really sucks that we vest so much in a notion that sometimes doesn’t even last for a week. Ideals? In this world there seems to be no such thing as an ideal relationship where couples rough it out anymore. Seeing this age turn into one that lacks resilience and tolerance really makes me wonder where the concept of idealism has gone. There used to be couples who would tough it out no matter what. Now we break up over the car that your husband did not get.

I think people are exposed to so much negative role models that the idealism one used to find in youths are now gone. A society that used to reason in terms of ideals are now engraved in criticism, in sarcastic remarks. A need for ideals is now replaced by cynics who criticize and complain. We need to start asking ourselves this major question. Do we want the next generation to be one of a cynical nature that we’re now? Or should we at least strive to achieve an ideal that is possible even in the realm of love? The key word in the previous sentence was STRIVE. Are you resilient enough to tough it out? Or is the easy way out a better solution? Decisions, Decisions my friend.

Is the power to do good and evil equal?

I always believed this statement to be true. We go on to analyse why.

Basically the underlying theory behind this question is the notion of choice. All power and choice is given to human beings. We're objects of the choices we make in life don't you think?

It is that limitless power that is given to people, that limitless power of choice that gives us the amount of problems and freedom we have today. See power....is a really strange thing. To have power, one needs to learn the responsibility to govern the power which is given to us. I guess one of the most legendary Marvel quotes of all time speak the best truth in this.

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Uncle Ben (From Spiderman)

Since the power of all choice is given to us, it is then dictated by man to rule these choices with a sound mind. I am reminded by what Jamie Tan once told me. "It really is a wonder whether human beings have evolved at all. Centuries ago there was homosexuality, lustful desire and so on and today we see the same things"

We have lived generations after generations reliving the same greed, the same lust, the same attitudes that human beings have faced since the beginning of time. Have we progressed? We also look at futile attempts of men to attempt to rectify these problems through law and order, through religion and through torture. So much so that people claim that they are performing justice when they violate the most basic principles of human nature.

I stand here not to condemn and say that men are wrong to attempt at measures of justice. I can suggest no better options besides God as well. The problem is human beings are so focused on trying to govern this power (the power of choice) that they themselves fail to see that they can't control and neglect God in the process of doing so. I think neglect is too gentle a word......maybe deny is more fitting.

My question to all of you is this. Are human beings truly capable of governing this power? Evidence wise I would say no and that we're doing a real poor job at it. Without God, things are impossible. I leave the below scripture with you.

Abide in me, and I will abide in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abides in the vine; no more can you, except you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing" (John 15:4-5).

PS. We have done nothing. The same problems still exist today.