Jackass moment.

Ever get the feeling you've just become a complete jackass and ignored the other person's feelings? Yeah that happened to yours truly today. Sometimes I surprise myself how insensitive I can truly be. Its one of those days.

(Note to self, stop talking when swimming) > This happened in a pool

Whoever wrote the theory on heuristics should be given an award because this clearly helped perpetuate the stereotype I cast on this particular person. Person in question (hence forth PIQ) was clearly a smart Alec scholar and gets A's in HELP like it takes the effort of drinking a glass of water. (that's what I think at least, I didn't really factor the difficulty the person goes through.) I made a very insensitive remark about how its easy for PIQ to get A's and how certain lecturers might have extremely high expectations on PIQ. PIQ was visibly pissed and thank god I didn't follow on that train of destruction and continue to talk about it.

Gotta thank Paul Ekman for saving my ass though. Through SETT(Subtle Emotion Training Tool), I managed to spot that PIQ was pissed at my comments about how certain lecturers expect the PIQ to do well. My saving grace was that I offered to help in PIQ's thesis. That demonstrated a lil bit of empathy on my part but still I kinda feel that I should have really guard my tongue.

Just wanna say sorry again if you (PIQ) ever read this.

Try defying gravity

I am so addicted to this song......I have no idea why hahahaha.

Moral compasses in life.

This is a tribute to those everyday normal people that I meet that have made a contribution into being a moral compass in my life.

Firstly let me thank ST (her initials):
She's one of those friends that really listen to me at times and is just really understanding. But first let me outline the scenario. I once jokingly said online that I wanted to just leave everything in M'sia behind and just go somewhere and travel, maybe father a few kids I don't know about. ST responded to my statement by saying :" Jon, if you ever do that, I'll never forgive you. You're one of the few guys who make me believe that there's still good guys around." Well, those are the kind of words you wish you heard more from church leadership. Knocks that crooked compass right back to north. Thanks for being a real pal,ST.

The uncle at the shop(shopkeeper):
This is one of the God is watching you scenarios and it happened today. I must admit I was feeling a lil down and decided to try an alcoholic beverage. I don't generally drink a lot but I felt I needed a "Subice" today. (Its one of those mixed with lemon juice and all. Pretty good if u don't wanna get wasted.) So there I was going up to the counter to pay and guess what the shopkeeper said to me. "I didn't know you drank drinks like this." That itself showed me that I was being watched. That individuals were just watching me and observing if I ever deviate from the path of righteousness.

Somehow, I felt God's hand in all these things. I just can't explain it but when God starts sending people in your face and pointing out certain things that you're doing, its just like a tight slap but like the God that He is, He'll never impose His will on you. You have to accept it willingly. Just some food for thought.

A heavy load off your shoulders?

It beckons forth the period where one is supposed to find solace. Where peace reigns and indeed that sickening feeling of a heavy load of assignments and strings of evaluations from lecturers are supposed to end.

Is this peace available for me? I truly wonder. For now I am filled with fear and even sorrow that I've not done enough for my own assignments. A feeling of insufficiency grips me and tears within me saying you've not done enough. Aye....the dread of such feelings are insurmountable indeed. No one truly shares this dread but I alone. My heart feels the tingling sensation of the white cold winds of the north as they slowly pierce deep within, centimeter by centimeter.

This dreadful feeling is deeply unpleasant and painful. Sometimes I wonder if my emotions are playing tricks with me and shaping this deep seated issues against me.