Seasons of Grandma

Spring was unknown to me,

But heaven choose to brighten your life with glee,

Until it overflowed into many hearts to me,

And formed your family to be.

Summer was of toil and sweat,

Hard work that formed your nuggets of wisdom,

Which you shared without regret,

To all who saw you at random.

Fall was a time of falling leaves,

Where your wisdom fell like that of maple leaves,

Littered all over your glorious tree,

Was those who admired thee.

Winter was cold and dreadful indeed,

A time where the leaves waned and flee,

But all shall remember your wonderful deed,

In which you touched our family with glee.

Storms admist this season.

Ever get the feeling that you're helpless in a situation which demands your every attention but you can't really do anything about it?

Recently, a position to be the assistant director of my father's company was forced upon me. Some of you are probably going WOW and would jump at the opportunity. Unfortunately, its not as glamorous as it seems. I for one think that this position would demand a lot from me and thus not allow me to perform my duties as a assistant cell leader and student effectively.

I also desire to learn the true motivation behind my father's intentions on putting me in this position. I would certainly value the challenge if my father had phrased it in such a manner that he thought I was indeed mature enough to handle and decide the direction of his company however that wasn't the case. I was shouted upon and said that I was stupid, naive and idiotic to not see what my step mother (who by the way has been wayyyyyyyyy more accountable than my father in supplying my monthly allowance) was plotting against him and trying to sabotage my education fees if I failed to claim my position in this company.

Personally, I think this is a gambit for power that my dad is trying to pull. Using my position in the company to pull a 2-1 score against my step mother who also co-owns part of his company. It is a pathetic ploy which a child could see through in a mere second. Wisdom dictates that I should just stay out of this but when your family is involved how can you dodge a bullet like this. More importantly, I've had curses pronounced over me by my own father. Sometimes you really do wonder what kind of a father you have when he says such things.

I wonder is this a sign from God that I should start praying for him or that I should just leave him to the tormentors. Needless to say, I've very little respect for my father and his ways. Sometimes I even doubt the surety behind his profession of Christ as he has very little love for both his ex and current wife. I sometimes ask God what did I ever do to merit such a father. Its truly at times like this that one desires to ask the question:" What would Jesus do?"

Thoughts, comments and opinions are always welcome

New season, old friends

I guess this is almost the ending chapter of my university life. Hence the new season.

In 2 semesters, I'll be graduating already. Its good to know. I haven't blogged for the longest time and I myself wonder why haha. Part of me thinks its because blogs are rather narcissistic. Kinda thought I needed sometime to focus on others.

I've been met up with some friends to talk about working life and it seems to be really exciting unless you're doing a donkey job like telemarketing or survey interviewing. In general, working seems to inspire a sense of deeper independence in me. The thought of earning your own money is kinda invigorating.

I've met up with an old friend today. Turns out things have been kinda tough for her. She shared about some experiences with friends (specifically christians) who were hypocritical in the way they lived their lives. They imposed certain judgments upon her but when it came to their own lives there wasn't any condemnation just because they were christians.

Visibly, this seems rather unfair but the lesson I observed most from this is that this generation of christians need to take a stand for Christ. Our lifestyles are sometimes a mockery to pure Christian living. (I would like to use Romans 12 as a benchmark.) In Romans 12, it says to present your "bodies" as a living sacrifice to God. This doesn't mean conforming your "heart" to Jesus Christ just by professing it. Looking at the Greek text of Strong's Lexicon, (sorry for being technical or bible scholarly but I need to illustrate this point), the root word of "soma" or "bodies" is "sozo" which if outlined in biblical usage is to "to save from the evils which obstruct the reception of the Messianic deliverance". (View source http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/Lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G4982&t=KJV). To take this literally from a biblical perspective, are you saving yourself from all these evils that obstruct Jesus's deliverance over your life?

In Christianity, many talk about being in the permissive or perfect will of God. Being in the permissive will of God is tantamount to stretching the grace of God which will ultimately result in judgment. As Malachi 3:2 says "He will come as a refiner's fire". Think you can stand the wrath of God when it appears? I hate to think its just as mild as a lightning bolt from heaven. Just thoughts....

Disappointments

Curses man!....After all that hard work and a single memory lapse and everything goes to heck.

I am referring to my Youth Work and Services exam. Damn it. Sometimes it strikes me the hardest that I am unable to just do things right! This sorta makes me wanna turn back time and go in there and fix that exam paper all over again.

I can't believe this......Sighs...... I hope the next exam isn't this pathetic... ETR (Estimated time remaining) until exam 1 hour 35 mins.....

Good day's worth of work?

Well......I am gonna show you guys a side I don't really show alot.....Emotion.....

I feel kinda proud of myself today cuz I summarized chapters worth of information into less than 7 pages! HAHA! Kinda cool rite? Haiz syok sendiri......

T_T I still have 4 chapters to do.......and I am so bloody tired.......FUhhhh...... Geez....Leona Lewis is driving me depressed.....grrr.......

ARGGGHHHH FINALS in 1 day......Less than 24 hours away now......sighs..... Cursed Career Guidance and Counseling skills........MAN!!! What the heck.....!!!

Remember your God.

"I will bear the indignation of the LORD,
Because I have sinned against Him, Until He pleads my case And executes justice for me.
He will bring me forth to the light; I will see His righteousness."
Mic 7:9

How long has it been since you heard a verse like this? Micah 7:9 states that a sinner owns up to his mistakes because he has sinned and allows God to execute justice for him.

This shows us not only the confidence of the believer in his Lord to deliver him from this peril, it also shows an owning up of his path of mistakes. I fall into the great trap of sometimes sinning and not apologizing for it as well. We all take things for granted sometimes and this takes a toll on ourselves and on the relationships we keep.

Don't take this the wrong way because discipline is not something that is bad. (I sorta think that the community of psychologists have made discipline an evil word.) As Hebrews 12:6 once said For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. Just like a fruit that needs pruning or gold that needs to be purified. Discipline and wrath is not necessarily hatred, rage or even abuse as proven here.

Hidden tears

Psalms 40
¹¹ Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O LORD;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.
¹² For innumerable evils have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;
They are more than the hairs of my head;
Therefore my heart fails me.
¹³ Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me;
O LORD, make haste to help me!

Dear God,

What letters shall I write before You? When the innocent perish and rage grows triumphant. How my heart stings when I imagine the carnage unfolding. Am I to be like Job? Where has Your great promises of protection and safety faded to? Lord, how bitter now is this heart of mine? How bitter more will it become? God, why do You draw the innocent into this? Am I not much more a worthy victim? Lord, your servants cry and yet do you listen. Where's that mighty outstretched arm? Your promise of being a tower to the weak? My Lord, make haste and be not far from me. Be not far from me dear God.

The journey between the mind and the heart

After yum cha with Ax.....I thought about this (He's gonna claim credit for my epiphany hahaha)

Far away this journey lies,
From the mind to the heart,
Before what one knows safely lies,
Within one's heart and never part.

If only men did what they knew,
If only men saw the essence of truth they knew,
How this world perishes not for a lack of knowledge,
But a lack of application of that knowledge.

A life which seems so bleak and thin,
Now faded in smoke after the world takes a spin,
When what one knows is not what one does,
Behold the speed in which wisdom flees.

Yea, like stagnated water that flows away not,
And will soon breed chaos and death,
So shall it be if knowledge flows not,
From the mind to a heart which life beats forth.

Insightful article.

"Shew me wherefore thou contendest with me." — Job 10:2

Perhaps, O tried soul, the Lord is doing this to develop thy graces. There are some of thy graces which would never be discovered if it were not for thy trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather as it does in winter? Love is too often like a glow-worm, showing but little light except it be in the midst of surrounding darkness. Hope itself is like a star--not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. Afflictions are often the black foils in which God doth set the jewels of His children's graces, to make them shine the better. It was but a little while ago that on thy knees thou wast saying, "Lord, I fear I have no faith: let me know that I have faith." Was not this really, though perhaps unconsciously, praying for trials?--for how canst thou know that thou hast faith until thy faith is exercised? Depend upon it, God often sends us trials that our graces may be discovered, and that we may be certified of their existence. Besides, it is not merely discovery, real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials. God often takes away our comforts and our privileges in order to make us better Christians. He trains His soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers, and climb mountains, and walk many a long mile with heavy knapsacks of sorrow on their backs. Well, Christian, may not this account for the troubles through which thou art passing? Is not the Lord bringing out your graces, and making them grow? Is not this the reason why He is contending with you?

"Trials make the promise sweet;
Trials give new life to prayer;
Trials bring me to His feet,
Lay me low, and keep me there."

Wow. If only christians today thought like this!!!

The empty heart

So deeply imbued in this heart,
A desire which longs for more,
Knowing a destiny which is in part,
Knowing life is worth much more.

In what shall I find meaning?
In what shall I find destiny?
Tarrying in this endless circle of meaninglessness,
Has my soul raving in restlessness.

Oh this sleepless night,
Wondering if there's more to this life,
Pondering whether the path is right,
Wondering why is the misery in this life is rife

Article By Michael Backman

Israelis are living high on US expense account
By Michael Backman
The Age
January 17, 2009

THERE'S a memorable scene in the Stephen Spielberg film ‘Munich’. After the 1972 Munich Olympic Games killings of Israeli athletes, prime
minister Golda Meir tells confidants she wants to show the plotters that killing Jews "is expensive". She then organises for the assassination
of each of the plotters.

Today, it is Israel itself that has become expensive. Most directly, it is very expensive to the US, which subsidises and arms it.

But Israel's utter inability to transform the Palestinians from enemies into friends has imposed big costs on us all. We have paid for Israel's
failure with bombs on London public transport, bombs in bars in Bali, and even the loss of the World Trade Centre towers in New York.

It is not true that these outrages have occurred because certain Islamic fundamentalists don't like Western lifestyles and so plant bombs in
response. Rather, it is Israel — or more correctly the treatment of the Palestinians — that is at the nub of these events.

The world's Muslims have no head: no overarching caliph or pope equivalent exists — no single power source with whom to negotiate.
Instead, Islam is remarkably decentralised. So, how extraordinary that Israel and the West have managed to unite this headless, diverse,
dispersed grouping without any institutional framework, around just one issue — anger at the treatment of the Palestinians.

Otherwise dispersed groups of Muslims do seem to feel for one another in a way that Christians and others do not.

In this respect, the international Islamic community is like a body: kick it in the leg and the rest of the body feels it. Kick it hard enough and
the entire body will be energised to defend itself. Pictures of distraught Gazan mothers beside the mutilated bodies of their children are
circulating right now among Muslim communities worldwide. It is pictures like these that make them want to do something.

Consider Malaysia. Every citizen of this outpost of Islam has printed in his or her passport that the passport is not valid for Israel. And given
that Malaysians are not allowed to hold dual citizenship, this essentially means that every Malaysian citizen, including the 40% who are not
Muslims, are banned from visiting Israel.

"When will Malaysia recognise Israel?" I once asked the then finance minister. "Once Israel treats the Palestinians better," was his reply.
How would he determine that? "When the Palestinians tell us," he said. It is not Israel's right to exist that is at issue.

The enmity many Muslims now feel for Israel has nothing to do with religion. The historical persecutors of the Jews have been Christians —
their punishment for the death of Jesus. Jews and Muslims have lived in peace for hundreds of years in many parts of the Islamic world.
When Catholic Spain and Portugal expelled its Jews, the Ottoman sultan in Istanbul invited them in. It is the Palestinian issue that has
ruined all this.

Of course, today Israel must defend itself. If the residents of Bendigo started firing rockets into Melbourne you would expect Melbourne to
retaliate. But what must Melbourne have done to Bendigo to make them do such a thing? Constantly slapping an opponent in the face,
kicking it down to its knees, and watching it struggle in the dirt will not teach the opponent to love or respect you. It teaches only hatred.

Persecuting people does not weaken them. Israel should know that. The Jews have been persecuted for centuries. It didn't destroy them
but gave them the impetus to survive.

One characteristic that is common among persecuted groups is a strong investment in education — when people's physical wealth is in
danger of destruction from war and persecution one store of wealth that stays with individuals even when they must flee as refugees is
education. It explains why such groups often insist on their own schools — education is too important to be entrusted to others.

Hamas did not enjoy the support of all the people of Gaza. It does now. Why does Israel keep getting it wrong?

Trekking in Nepal is fashionable among young Israelis. So much so that many shops in Kathmandu and Pokhara have signs in Hebrew. But
once you get on the trekking circuit and speak with local Nepalese guides and guesthouse operators you soon discover how disliked the
Israelis are. Many guesthouses in this poor country will even tell Israeli trekking groups that they are full rather than accept them. This has
nothing to do with religion or politics: Nepalese people are some of the warmest, most hospitable in the world. Rather, they say that the
young Israelis are rude, arrogant, and argue over trifling amounts of money even though they clearly have means.

Israel needs to change. The Parsees of India might provide a model. The Parsees are a very tiny, very rich ethnic and religious minority.
They own perhaps most of the land in central Mumbai as well as the country's largest conglomerate. And yet ordinary Indians admire and
respect them. Violence against them is unthinkable.

How have they achieved this? They are not flashy or arrogant. Their overriding characteristic is a deep interest in the welfare of others.
They have established hospitals, libraries, schools, museums and many other institutions and, most importantly, not for the Parsee
community exclusively but for everyone. So the Parsees have peace and the Israelis do not.


Images purportedly from Gaza such as this example have
been circulated by e-mail in Malaysia and Indonesia in recent
weeks, accompanied by text in Malay which translates in part as: "I
cry because I'm a muslim, and my brothers are being killed!" And
so Muslims worldwide are being energised and drawn into a conflict
which otherwise has no direct bearing on them.

Taken from http://michaelbackman.com/NewColumn.html

IP Man and 4 Christmases

Just how good is the movie IP Man? (pronouced "yip man" Cantonese style). As good as you've been hearing about all its raving. Not even gonna spoil the scenes with a sneak peak but if you guys need a back ground, its about the famous grandmaster of the Wing Chun style, Ip Man, who actually disipled Bruce Lee. Overall, it scores a 9 on my scale of 10. I was so immersed I nearly lost 2 items :P I would leave you with this quote though..."Ngo yiu da sap goh" (which means I wanna beat up 10 guys) Hehe. So if you're looking for comedy, action and all the typical elements of a chinese movie, this is a must watch!!

4 Christmases? Not so hot. If u're into another typical american movie that spells cheesy humor and typical disasters during holidays, this is yr thing. Other wise.....just take 5 and sit this one out. There are definitely better things to do in life but hey if you need a silly laugh by all means go ahead. 5/10 guys.